Tag Archive | puffpuff

5 Nigerian foods killing your goals

food

All I said on my Facebook page was ” stop eating fried plantain every time you eat rice or jollof rice” Honestly,  you’d have thought I said Ghanian Jollof rice was better than Nigerian Jollof rice from the amount of people who came for me!

This did get me thinking though! About the worst Nigerian foods for ones waistline, and yes, before I go into this we do not eat fried plantain in my house (unless guests are coming!). Let me be clear, there is no difference between fried Plantain and Chips. Two great vegetables turned to killers on plates.

So here are the worst offenders stopping you achieving your goals – in the end I had to include two drinks

Ayamase stew!

Have you ever cooked this popular Yoruba stew? I have! It’s yummy no doubt! but I can tell you for nothing, there will be no weight loss, no Teyana Taylor body if you eat this ish often. And when I say often I mean even once a week. Okay lets dissect the key things that make this dish awful for your waist line. First, palm oil, let me be clear!!! Palm oil is a great oil, do not let the West demonise it for us!!! my ancestors have been eating palm oil for decades! Used as a cooking oil, palm oil has a high burning point and is safer than (for example) olive oil.  but not the quantity used in Ayamase! Because a fat is still a fat!! And calories still matter. The calorie count for a tablespoon of palm oil is 120 calories. And let’s get real, you’ll be consuming at least 4 tablespoons in your stew,  that’s 480 calories! Of oil alone.  And we haven’t added the fried meat yet! On average, a portion of Ayamase, with fried assorted meat is over 850 calories – we haven’t added the rice remember,  and you are adding dodo!! Ohhh!  shall I go into the grams of fat? No I didn’t think so! You get my point.

TIP: If you take a peak at any stew and see oil floating on top, run!! Trans fat!

Fried plantain and Eggs

This is a disaster. Shambles. You want to kill yourself? Okay then kontinue. This is worst than Ayamase because some of y’all eat this mess every weekend! Or twice a week! Everyday!! Yepa!! You take a perfectly great vegetable and protein source and turn them in a high calorific atrocity! And there is no redeeming factor because vegetable oil has no redeeming factor.  None. In one meal you are easily consuming 900 calories or more!

Puff Puff

Puff Puff is doughnut. Stop lying to yourself. This one pains me to write cause I love puff puff! And I’ll eat it when I’m out! Because it’s a special treat! But I’ll stop at 3 maximum! And never every weekend! Christmas, Easter, you get the drift! Not only is this snack deep fried! The dough is made up of flour , sugar, yeast! Nothing good! And I now see that some of y’all be eating it with ice cream! Are you for fucking real! Kontinue. Make sure your life insurance is up to date ooo – don’t leave loved ones with financial stress and a mess  when you are gone!

Agege bread

Okay, you already know that white bread has no redeeming factor! And you see, the Nigerian bread is worse! Unlike the bread where I reside – I’m sorry to burst your bubble but the bread in Nigeria taste better than the bread in the UK because they are killing iy and you with the added sugar!! Not because they are better bakers!! Wake up people!! most sliced bread in the UK contains only 2-4% sugars – and much of this is naturally occurring, it is not ‘added’. The last time I was in Nigeria! Enjoying bread and egg – I could taste the sugar – so delicious!! But if you are watching your waistline so wrong! I do not demonise bread. Only the type you eat. Please eat wholemeal, Ezekiel and the likes, if like me you enjoy it, but that Agege bread! No no no! and the ones you buy in London from Finsbury park called dough bread!! I shudder! I picked it up once at someone’s house – I looked at the back I swear the E-NUMBERS ALONE!! ENOUGH SAID.

Condensed milk!!

You people are still drinking this, in your tea, in your coffee!! Okay here are the facts. It contains 62 calories for a mere tablespoon. 1 tbsp serving of regular sweetened condensed milk contains almost 2 g of fat. The fat in condensed milk is primarily saturated fat, which can negatively impact cardiovascular health. A tablespoon of sweetened condensed milk contains over 10 g of carbohydrates, all of which are sugars. I CAN’T GO ON. Why are you doing this!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Maltina and the likes!!

My heart wept when I read this  on a popular blog about Maltina and its cousins (all the other malt drinks)

” Maltina’s claim to fame is that it was the first malt drink to be produced locally in Nigeria. The drink comes in 33cl bottles and it has a distinct, rich and creamy taste like no other malt drink on the market. The drink’s manufacturer, Nigerian Breweries Plc (aka Heineken) are also keen to point out its health benefits as Maltina includes a wide array of vitamins and minerals including vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B6 and C, as well as calcium. Given all of the above, it’s probably no wonder that Maltina has become available abroad at British retailer Tesco and has over 5,000 followers on Twitter”.

What the actual Fuck!! Tesco sells Chocolate and cakes and pies and all other unhealthy stuff what does maltina being stocked at Tesco tell us – they are catering to their consumers – they are chasing the money like any other business!!! Here is the truth!! Forget the jagbajantis claim of vitamin just eat one small orange! The calorie in this demon is 188! Oh and 45 grams of carbohydrate – that’s more than my breakfast of toast and eggs!! If you really want that vitamin A eat a cup of Kale it gives you more with less than 50 calories!!

Eat well. Eat  Smart.