Relationship Advice for my Son

  1. Pay on the first date!! What the hell is wrong with you!! But If she offers to go half she may be a keeper.
  2. Any woman worth marrying isn’t looking for a knight in shining armour. She has her own shit together thanks.
  3. You will love me for teaching you how to cook, because no one wants to marry an incompetent idiot.
  4. Stingy men are ugly.
  5. Your father has a way of zoning out of arguments, learn this trick, it still amazes me, I suspect this skill prevents stress.
  6. Confidence has nothing to do with Mama and boy
  7. You are only 2 and a half but I can tell that skinny jeans isn’t for your genes.
  8. Take fashion advice from your wife. Never experiment without her approval.
  9. If you marry a white girl please pleaseeeeeeeeeee make sure she learns how to pronounce your name, including your middle name Abdul-Farouk – this is my only request .

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