Black People don’t do snow

 
 
 
Riri2 Riri1I follow Rihanna on Instagram, I know, I’m an agbaya.  But I love this chick for so many reasons I’ll discuss another day. Everytime Rihanna posts a picture on Instagram my fashion heart just melts, always on point always on F*** you mode. If the fashion doesn’t get me, the exotic locations do,  that’s until she started instagraming in the snow!! Now don’t get me wrong, the fashion as always was on point; the hat, the gloves, the colours – My God I love Rihanna, but the snow?  I rolled my eyes and kept scrolling,  where are my bodybuilders jor  – you need to follow bodybuilders on instagram!
 
My temporary indifference to Rihanna reminds me of the time my friend said in excitement  ” I’m going shopping for my holiday” . It was winter, I was immediately gripped with envy! Winter getaways are notoriously expensive, I couldn’t afford it, but man I needed some sun!! And then she said “we are so looking forward to skiing this year“.  I almost busted out laughing,  I didn’t. Instead, I rolled my inner eyes, all envy evaporating, not a holiday after all just ‘suffer head’. Quite frankly, that’s how a lot of us black people view skiing; a complete nonsensical sport,  not worth the risk to our limbs, let alone lives,  and certainly not worth the money!! But of course we all know black folks who really really enjoy skiing! that’s at least what they tell us,  and their oyinbo friends,  good for them! But as we Nigerians say ” Butter o se onje Obo” meaning  “Butter isn’t monkeys food”.
 
Someone asked me the other day if I wouldn’t even try skiing! I said if it was a free holiday I’d go along.  I’ve always wanted to wear those great fur hats and gloves.  And I do love looking out onto the snow in the comfort of my house,  so  I’ll happily enjoy being in a  warm cabin with an open fire, a glass of champagne, watching others play in the snow.
 
 
It’s not just the skiing thing.  My trainer asked me if I was following the winter Olympics, I told him straight up ‘ No’ I couldn’t care less about it! He laughed and said “Lola you would really like bla bla bla bla bla, you are quite sporty ” I rolled my eyes.  I didn’t know what half of the sports he listed were.  I barely understand figure skating; grown ass people in silly outfits twirling and prancing about on ice,  like children! I remember the day I actually went along with some friends and acquaintances to iceskate. I regretted it. For the entire duration of the torture,   I imagined myself falling down and crashing head first, smashing all my teeth, including my very expensive implants and destroying years of dental work. No. I’m in no hurry to go back to Hungry for dental work thanks. My trainer went on a bit, so I said look I’m African right, these sports are far removed from our interests, natural climate experience etc – my trainer said “I’m African too Lola” I couldn’t bite my tongue ” Yes Gavin, White South African” we both laughed and continued the training I enjoyed! Running, sprinting, weight lifting!
 
 
Listen right,  I have no problem with the winter Olympics or skiing but lets call a spade a spade, few  black people are interested in these sports.  Personally I think we should have the tropical Olympics!  I started this conversation on FB and I’ve since been educated  there are indeed a number of black nations participating in the winter olympics, I hear you laughing too,  even Togo is there!!! don’t ask.  When I dug a bit deeper nearly all the African representative were born abroad. Of course some smart ass is gonna jump on me and start telling me about snow peaks in the mountains of Algeria, Ethiopia, Kenya, Tanzania and even snow falls in Egypt, Tunisia and so forth but still who cares these are not common occurrences.
 
They say live and let live, so let the winter  olympic roll on, all sports are great right, but me sha I’m not interested.

One thought on “Black People don’t do snow

  1. I love Rihanna too. I’m on her instagram page often. Fashion Killa! Now that you have confessed, I feel ok with admitting it now 🙂

    Winter Olympics what? Winter Olympics who? Winter Olympics, its just too cold. I know Canada won hockey, it was on my fb timeline, I have a few white friends lol, and that there is a black female ice skater. Tropical Olympics I can get behind that 100% 😀

    Like

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