Beyonce Wife, Mother, Whore?

I’ve seen a lot of hate directed at Beyoncé lately, and to be honest I wasn’t that interested, Beyoncé is pretty and rich enough to fight her own battles. But the venom directed at her after her Grammy performance has left me pondering over what really lies behind the criticism of a 32 year old grown woman choosing to dress how she wants, expressing her sexuality and fantasy.   I am convinced that some of the backlash gives  us an insight into society’s expectation of married women.  We still live in a culture that feels more comfortable in putting women in boxes; a culture that wants to shut its eyes to women’s sexuality especially as we get older, become wives, and mothers. Beyonce’s new song ‘drunk in love’ pisses on that notion. Why can’t Beyoncé talk about surfing on her man’s wood, pouring on it,  surfing on it” Sex is an intrinsic part of who we are and yes married women and mothers like to get down too. Beyoncé is a performer whose authenticity and connection with her fans relies on her keeping her lyrics real and relatable. We all danced and clapped to “Put a ring on it” because we all know assholes who missed out on putting a ring on it.  We all whooped to “to the left, to the left’ because women related to kicking some undeserving guys to the curb”. Her sexuality is as much a part of her as any of those lyrics. and I personally have no issue with her singing about it.

They say Beyoncé is a slut, a whore, a disgrace, and a bad role model for gyrating and dry humping on stage; too raunchy, too debauch.  Apparently this is completely inappropriate for children to see, honestly,  I’m tired of this argument, anyway my own children were in bed, and yes I would have let them watch Beyoncé and Jay Z’s PDA. I would have explained that this is a performance. And that Beyoncé’s attire or lingerie was stage outfit, no different to what Pink swung on ropes in, and more appropriate than Miley Cyrus’s flesh coloured knicker set – and even that I had no problem with.  But it’s not just the outfit bugging people is it? One viewer wrote on Facebook “Aren’t you a mother now!!? Thought you had more class, how trashy.  It is this wife and mother thing that is really winding some people up.

I hear you shout well what about the lyrics!? What about the lurid sexual content. Well my children wouldn’t have understood the lyrics, look, even at 14 when I sang the lyrics to ” I wanna sex you up” by Color Me Bad I didn’t quite appreciate the meaning. And if you are of Nigerian heritage I will refer you to some equally sexual lyrics by the maestro of Afro Juju,  king  Sunny Ade “what do you desire, what do you desire, sweet banana, sweet banana” and that’s one of the tamer ones! I sang these songs, loved the melodies,  but I promise you, at 7 or 8 I had no interest in analysing the lyrics, as we now assume all young people do. And if my children were teenagers why shouldn’t they listen to a woman describing how she gives and takes pleasure.

What about the reference to the domestic violence suffered by Tina Turner’  Jay Z  not only refers to himself as Ike Turner but alludes to one of the most harrowing scene in ‘What’s love got to do with it’ “ Now eat the cake Anna Mae’.  Now I struggled with this one.  It is uncomfortable, but only  when you take the lyrics literary. consider the lyrics in the context of  – a sexual tale of two consenting adults – and  you may see that it simply is a reference to Jay Z’s sexual prowess, the lyrics move from recounting sexual exploits to sharing their fantasies – the Anna Mae reference is possibly a glimpse into their sexual fantasies.  Now you may think this is all too much to put out,  and I get that,  but Beyoncé’s is an artist, her art form requires expression, and yes this may include sexual expression, more than anything else she  is a grown woman ……. Now you know how that  tune ends.

6 thoughts on “Beyonce Wife, Mother, Whore?

  1. I saw nothing wrong with the performance. I thought it was kinda tame….she didn’t do the songs sexuality enough justice in my opinion. Not sure what everyone else was looking at lol. The outfit was a bit desperate though, serving “nasty girl” is difficult there is a way to do it. Beyoncé needs more practice in the nasty girl area, she should call up Rihanna, collaborate already!

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  2. Seeing that one of the purposes of a blog is to engage in debate. Here goes, what’s different between what she did and what Miley did. I appreciate your reference to when we were younger but I don’t think that sexual content was shoved in our faces, celebrated and easily accessible in those days as it is now. The larger environment was very different then and while I appreciate it was a hubby and wife affair, please get a room. How else should we take the lyrics. Chris Fountain comes to mind here. I like B and appreciate what she does, I just think in this case she’s managed to take 10 steps back by objectifying women in such a vulgar manner.

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  3. Here! Here! Titti, Here! Here!

    I am fed up to the back teeth of people criticising and judging ‘queen bey’ for her performances and music just because she is now a mother and a wife. I understand that she is a worldwide star who envokes public debate when she does so much as sneeze, but last time I checked, she is not portraying herself as the next Michelle Obama, Ms Greer , Mother Theresa or a modern day Mary Magdalene. She is a musical artist , dancer, performer and actress with a talent for making music who is exercising her right to interpret her art as she feels. She has an ability to make music about almost anything including now, her husbands ‘wood’.

    She is not married to a president , she is married to a RAPPER who made his millions sensationalising his time as a drug lord. Now if she took to the stage, crack pipe in hand, singing about how great it is to get her drug fuelled orgasm or ‘graining on the pipe’ then I may tolerate the concern for little old Blue. But she isn’t, she is doing what she knows best, she is doing Bey.

    People are constantly evaluating, classifying, labelling, analysing…… too much for my liking. Live and let live I say and stop creating a lot of turbulence in your own internal dialogue. If one doesn’t agree with ones performance art, I suggest you concentrate on making your own, ‘wife/mother’ version. After all isn’t gyrating that hot bod of hers the exact avenue that has made her billions so far and the reason why she is a house hold name singing at the White House? Need I remind people that when you say the name Michelle it is Obama that springs to mind not Williams even though she too was winning member of DC3? Why change a winning recipe that has worked for her?

    I do however have a very big problem with the Ike Turner/ eat the cake Anna Mae line. I do not believe that anyone so vile whose actions were so degrading should be immortalised in song, what ever the reason may be!

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  4. I’m so out of the trending tooooones now that I hadnt heard this song till I watched her perform it at the Grammy’s. As you said, she is grown and free to do whatever. I personally didnt care for the song or performance, not because of the lyrical content, the costume or ‘wet look’ hair. Its just that as the Grammys are supposed to be the biggest award show for music, I wanted to see her bring it either by doing a number where we saw her work those choreographed moves or a slow number where we got to hear and appreciate that vocal range. For me the performance and song are instantly forgettable but I am still a fan, have been for almost 2 decades now!

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  5. Beyoncé entertains, it her job. It is what she get paid to do. It’s how she makes her money. Her performance, her lyrics doesn’t really give an insight into her ‘real’ life. She’s a performer! Now as for this performance I did cringe a little because I know they are husband and wife. I don’t like the idea of using (or exploiting?) your ‘marriage’ to sell music. And I am not a big fan of PDA.

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